Harry Potter and the Power of Choice

“[The Sorting Hat] only put me in Gryffindor’ said Harry in a defeated voice, “because I asked not to go to Slytherin¦”
“Exactly, said Dumbledore, beaming once more. “¦It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are¦”
-“Dobby’s Reward’ Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

A few weeks ago, I was chatting with a friend about transgender issues. Being a trans guy myself, and living in a small community with many of my fellows, there is often one issue that never ceases to spark a debate: the power of choice. I had thought from the very early stages of my transition that it was simple: it’s entirely my choice. I’ve felt pulled in one direction, I’ve felt like there’s no escape, but ultimately, I make the choice to make the change. I would never begrudge anyone their right to feel like transpeople don’t have a lot of choice in the matter and maybe one day I will even think that way myself. But for me, right now, it’s important to be able to stand up for my individual right to choose a certain lifestyle, and I need to be able to do that with friends, strangers, and of course the people who have a negative view of the transgender community and lifestyle. What would be the use in saying I have no choice? Won’t that give all the naysayers the most powerful weapon they could ever have? I was thinking about all this a lot recently, and maybe it was just a matter of thinking the word “weapon’ but it suddenly dawned on me that all the values I held on these matters, everything I’d used to give myself the strength to make the choices I needed to make, came from Harry Potter.

And so I started to think. Had Harry been there all this time, shaping my ideas? I didn’t find that at all hard to believe. He had been there for years now and has affected me in a way I don’t think I’ve ever let anything else. But then I wondered, would he be enough to take me through everything I had still had to face?

Perhaps I’d say no, if Deathly Hallows hadn’t been so much about faith, particularly, faith in people. The message really resonated for me: faith in your friends is one of the strongest and hardest choices to make, but it can also be the most rewarding. It makes you vulnerable, but ultimately, it makes you free. Harry’s struggle to trust Dumbledore was a real turning point for Harry and I especially liked how the decision to trust just came to him while digging Dobby’s grave. He saw his reality and understood the way forward was his choice. He now knew some horrible things about Dumbledore, but he couldn’t let those things push away the memory of all the time that he had spent with the man. Both things were real. It is a hard choice, to accept the things about our parents or parental figures that we wish weren’t true. I think, personally, the most difficult thing about making the choice to transition was definitely my parents. I imagined stunned looks on their faces and just couldn’t shake the image. I heard them say things about my also-gay sibling and thought, “Wow, my little announcement is going to be so much worse than this.” They didn’t exactly say bad things, but more often, inadvertently hurtful things, sometimes ignorant things. Thinking about those words, for me, was like reading a hundred slandering Rita Skeeter articles. They sunk into me, planted little seeds of doubt, and took root before I realized even how powerful they really were and more importantly, how willing I was to believe them. My transition gives me a confidence I have never known before, now it’s time to use it. The choices I’ve made about myself and my body have been pretty easy, the changes smooth. It’s this choice, the choice to be honest and trust in the people I love, that will define me though, I think, above all. After all, Harry trusted, and he saved the whole world. Maybe trust is what will save my little world.

-Jon